Shattered - Technical difficulties.

 My computer like most of my previous perceptions of Brazil was  shattered. 

I walked into the preschool last Friday pale and befuddled. I had been watching the news all morning and the images of my beloved Paulista completely occupied flashed through my mind like the fireworks of pepper spray sure to follow. 

When my eyes finally focused on the scenery I realized even the school had lost some of it's color. 

Everyone wore black to work, and the explanation I was given was bleak: "Brasil está morrendo, ir para casa" Brazil is dying, go home.

The cheerful songs about animals and boats continued to chirp in the background while my coworkers delivered the solom news. My boss pulled me aside to say the school might be closed on Monday on account of the continued protests. I watched the faces of the children as they munched on their cookies, for them nothing had changed. 

Luckily, their world probably won't. It's only now I truly realize the kids I teach and care for are part of a small group of the especially privileged Brazilians. That is to say, they live in one of the nicest neighborhoods in the richest city in all of South America. 

When I first arrived in São Paulo,  I now know I was surrounded and protected by that same"bubble" of Brazilian Privilege. Like of most of my European friends, the Brazilians I know play with their iPhones, speak fluent English,  and enjoy international vacations. I couldn't understand why so, so many of them wanted so desperately to leave their beautiful Brazil filled with tropical fruits and tiny monkeys. I understand now.

One of my misconceptions I need to correct was that Brazilians speak English. Of course, some do, but that is the exception.Today, I wasn't surprised to find on google that it's less than 5% of the population is proficient, as I've come to learn a large segment of the population isn't even properly educated in their first language. There is so much corruption that schools aren't sufficiently funded and most public school children can't except a future in a professional career, or a college education. 

In recent months there has been many protests as result of the government choosing to close some many public schools to save money, and the fact that a lot of politicians seem to saved that money for themselves.

I'm not going to give you a factual report of what happened last Sunday, or even a researched explanation as to why it's happening. The truth is you can get that from any major news source. Instead I'll tell you what people are telling me, which is very simply put: the president and the ex president are extremely corrupt, and many believe needs to be impeached.

The truth, as this demonstration has forced to my attention:

Is that there are in fact  many problems in Brazil. Extreme corruption, gang violence, and economic inequality are just the beginning of the list. But what's incredible about this nation is that the people can be happy, so optimistic that things will continue to improve. I look at this image, of thousands of people protesting and wearing their nations colors,  It appears to be a celebration rather than people listing their grievances. Rather than be angry and violent about the terrible conditions, the people choose to peacefully assemble and celebrate the potential yo start something new for the beautiful Brazil.  I have to believe this nation of amazing people can only come out of this stronger, and once they glue the pieces back together: 
Shattered for the better. 

I'm Back!

After an extended visit in North Carolina and a lovely vacation in Finland I'm finally back in São Paulo....

And I've been receiving a lot of hugs lately. 

For starters, I'm getting plenty of little tiny ones from the kids at the preschool. It's fun to spend so much time with the babies not only because they're absolutely precious, but also because I'm getting a taste of what it's like to grow-up Brazilian: what books they're read, snacks they're fed, things they learn shouldn't be said.

Last Friday some of the babies and I had our very first celebration of Carnival. I didn't have a "real" costume so I dressed like a super Gringa, wearing a paper crown and an American flag. A lot of the kids were dressed like superheroes or disney princesses, it was similar to halloween, except that no one was dressed scary- just adorable.  All the teachers  knew the words to the songs they were playing, one I remember is: O que é, o que é by Gonzaguinha.  I felt like an outsider just humming along, but it was nice to realize at least I finally understand a lot of the words. With the music blaring through the speakers we all played with sprinkles, whip cream, and bubbles - the school, like the rest of Brazil is a big beautiful mess at the moment. 

When I'm not at the preschool you can usually find me at a school for people my age preparing for the final exams to get into public universities. There I've been getting a lot of Portuguese and making plenty of valuable observations about Brazilian youth:

The girls are very touchy. I don't mean just in the dramatic sense- I'm talking about everything from holding hands, to playing with hair, to kisses straight on the mouth - right there in class ! Needless to say I've been getting a lot of affection there too, I'm their "Gringa." 

In case I wasn't getting enough attention at my schools,  of course now it's carnaval.  In case you don't know, Carnaval is the huge celebration before lent that takes place in many predominantly Catholic countries. It's been explained to me that the drive to party is to get all your crazy and sinning out before you have to be on your best christian behavior for the entire month before Easter. There's a lot of elaborate costumes, dancing, and "amor e sexo"  The real "Carnaval" takes place at night with the huge dancing competion, but during the day there are many Bloc parties. They close off entire blocs for dancing, drinking, and celebrating during the day. Some of them are themed like, "lingerie" or with more traditional samba music. I've been to two myself and find them to be loud and friendly. 

Sometimes strangers hug me or pat my back, and I wonder if it should make me uncomfortable. But it doesn't hurt, and really who decides what makes one person a stranger and another a friend? When does a shy smile turn into a kiss straight on the lips? We're all dancing at the same place at the same time, maybe that's enough in common to be friends for the day. With a line drawn, so long as I keep an open mind, I'll continue getting a lot of hugs, and really that's fine by me.