Shattered - Technical difficulties.

 My computer like most of my previous perceptions of Brazil was  shattered. 

I walked into the preschool last Friday pale and befuddled. I had been watching the news all morning and the images of my beloved Paulista completely occupied flashed through my mind like the fireworks of pepper spray sure to follow. 

When my eyes finally focused on the scenery I realized even the school had lost some of it's color. 

Everyone wore black to work, and the explanation I was given was bleak: "Brasil está morrendo, ir para casa" Brazil is dying, go home.

The cheerful songs about animals and boats continued to chirp in the background while my coworkers delivered the solom news. My boss pulled me aside to say the school might be closed on Monday on account of the continued protests. I watched the faces of the children as they munched on their cookies, for them nothing had changed. 

Luckily, their world probably won't. It's only now I truly realize the kids I teach and care for are part of a small group of the especially privileged Brazilians. That is to say, they live in one of the nicest neighborhoods in the richest city in all of South America. 

When I first arrived in São Paulo,  I now know I was surrounded and protected by that same"bubble" of Brazilian Privilege. Like of most of my European friends, the Brazilians I know play with their iPhones, speak fluent English,  and enjoy international vacations. I couldn't understand why so, so many of them wanted so desperately to leave their beautiful Brazil filled with tropical fruits and tiny monkeys. I understand now.

One of my misconceptions I need to correct was that Brazilians speak English. Of course, some do, but that is the exception.Today, I wasn't surprised to find on google that it's less than 5% of the population is proficient, as I've come to learn a large segment of the population isn't even properly educated in their first language. There is so much corruption that schools aren't sufficiently funded and most public school children can't except a future in a professional career, or a college education. 

In recent months there has been many protests as result of the government choosing to close some many public schools to save money, and the fact that a lot of politicians seem to saved that money for themselves.

I'm not going to give you a factual report of what happened last Sunday, or even a researched explanation as to why it's happening. The truth is you can get that from any major news source. Instead I'll tell you what people are telling me, which is very simply put: the president and the ex president are extremely corrupt, and many believe needs to be impeached.

The truth, as this demonstration has forced to my attention:

Is that there are in fact  many problems in Brazil. Extreme corruption, gang violence, and economic inequality are just the beginning of the list. But what's incredible about this nation is that the people can be happy, so optimistic that things will continue to improve. I look at this image, of thousands of people protesting and wearing their nations colors,  It appears to be a celebration rather than people listing their grievances. Rather than be angry and violent about the terrible conditions, the people choose to peacefully assemble and celebrate the potential yo start something new for the beautiful Brazil.  I have to believe this nation of amazing people can only come out of this stronger, and once they glue the pieces back together: 
Shattered for the better. 

I'm Back!

After an extended visit in North Carolina and a lovely vacation in Finland I'm finally back in São Paulo....

And I've been receiving a lot of hugs lately. 

For starters, I'm getting plenty of little tiny ones from the kids at the preschool. It's fun to spend so much time with the babies not only because they're absolutely precious, but also because I'm getting a taste of what it's like to grow-up Brazilian: what books they're read, snacks they're fed, things they learn shouldn't be said.

Last Friday some of the babies and I had our very first celebration of Carnival. I didn't have a "real" costume so I dressed like a super Gringa, wearing a paper crown and an American flag. A lot of the kids were dressed like superheroes or disney princesses, it was similar to halloween, except that no one was dressed scary- just adorable.  All the teachers  knew the words to the songs they were playing, one I remember is: O que é, o que é by Gonzaguinha.  I felt like an outsider just humming along, but it was nice to realize at least I finally understand a lot of the words. With the music blaring through the speakers we all played with sprinkles, whip cream, and bubbles - the school, like the rest of Brazil is a big beautiful mess at the moment. 

When I'm not at the preschool you can usually find me at a school for people my age preparing for the final exams to get into public universities. There I've been getting a lot of Portuguese and making plenty of valuable observations about Brazilian youth:

The girls are very touchy. I don't mean just in the dramatic sense- I'm talking about everything from holding hands, to playing with hair, to kisses straight on the mouth - right there in class ! Needless to say I've been getting a lot of affection there too, I'm their "Gringa." 

In case I wasn't getting enough attention at my schools,  of course now it's carnaval.  In case you don't know, Carnaval is the huge celebration before lent that takes place in many predominantly Catholic countries. It's been explained to me that the drive to party is to get all your crazy and sinning out before you have to be on your best christian behavior for the entire month before Easter. There's a lot of elaborate costumes, dancing, and "amor e sexo"  The real "Carnaval" takes place at night with the huge dancing competion, but during the day there are many Bloc parties. They close off entire blocs for dancing, drinking, and celebrating during the day. Some of them are themed like, "lingerie" or with more traditional samba music. I've been to two myself and find them to be loud and friendly. 

Sometimes strangers hug me or pat my back, and I wonder if it should make me uncomfortable. But it doesn't hurt, and really who decides what makes one person a stranger and another a friend? When does a shy smile turn into a kiss straight on the lips? We're all dancing at the same place at the same time, maybe that's enough in common to be friends for the day. With a line drawn, so long as I keep an open mind, I'll continue getting a lot of hugs, and really that's fine by me. 

Wazowski

I'm not and won't be in São Paulo for the holidays

Not by choice, homesickness, or a desire to see my dogs, (though that's certainly been nice) but only because my visa declared I must. To quote the beloved Mike Wazowski " That darn paperwork, wouldn't be easier if it all just blew away." 

I would have loved to experience a Brazilian style Christmas. At least I was lucky enough participate in  "Amigo Secreto" which is similar to Secret Santa. Like Secret Santa, it begins with secretive drawing the name of who you'll buy a present for. Your group (of friends, classmates, or coworkers)will set a date to distribute the gifts, but Brazilians add a twist. Before you can get your gift your "Papai Noel" or Santa will make a speech about you, without using your name. Usually it won't be obvious, they'll say something like "they have two eyes" until someone can guess correctly who the present is for. My new friend was very kind to my limited language abilities and simply declared: " She's not Brazilian." 
YET!

Between lighting up the christmas tree and hanging decorative socks on the mantle I've been working on getting back to my beloved SP, but until then I promise not to "blow away." 

I'll keep you posted on my winter adventures in North America and Europe !

A Day in the Life

I apologize for the delay, but the advantage of this is I have a lot to tell you! 

For starters, I got a new job! And overnight I went from having time more desperate to be filled than a clingy girlfriend, to barley finding the time to sleep. 

A weekday looks something like this for me:

I wake up around 6 am and walk a couple kilometers to school. There I observe as my classmates attempt to do math with these unusual strategies, approach english like a chemical equation, and discuss Brazilian literature. We also do normal things like exercise and eat snacks, but mostly I just try to talk to my friends there and they ensure that I learn all the profanity and hip slang.




<--- Division 


I finish school at 12 pm and then run home so I can have a few minutes for lunch before going to work at a Bilingual school called "safe step". Fortunately, it's only a 12 minute walk away. Unfortunately,  it's up a mountain that's only called a hill when you're not climbing it. 

I work from 1pm-5:15pm with the most beautiful babies in the whole world. My job is to play with them and speak to them in English. The most challenging part is my kids are barely old enough to speak Portuguese, so even the most basic gesture "sit" could be answered with tears or more likely, just ignored.

Now that I've been with them two weeks most of them will respond to "Bye" or " I love you" but the process is very slow. I'm easily having more luck teaching my coworkers english. With the kids I say a work a hundred times before they repeat it, with my coworkers it's once.

Which has led me, someone who's envied people raised bilingual for years now, to question how much easier it really was for them. That is to say, perhaps learning languages is always hard, I mean it takes most of us 12 months to say a word in our first one, but we forget the struggle when we're young. Or maybe are just less embarrassed to make mistakes. 

So that's it. I spend the first half of my day struggling to express anything in Portuguese. And the second part speaking English to people whom, if they understand anything, are too rude to reply. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I also have Portuguese lessons from 5:30-7:00pm . By the time it's all said and done I'm so desperate to be able to express myself that I start spinning and the words come out so fast I can barely understand myself.

If nothing else these past few months, I've learned there's other ways of communicating, of course hugs, smiles, elaborate hand gestures, and impressionistic dances. But also that sometimes you don't have to say anything,you can just listen...

and pray the teacher doesn't call on you. 

"Era Uma Vez...."

"Once Upon a time..." 

There lived a young woman who so desperately wanted to learn Portuguese . She traveled thousands of miles through the sky to a distant land where almost everyone speaks, sings and dances to the beautiful language.  Upon her arrival she met with a master as often as she could, but the language just kept slipping away. After a month of less than satisfactory progress she decided it was time for something drastic....


So drastic I'm almost embarrassed to tell you: 

I'm back in High-school.

I know, I know the disgusting place of crushed dreams and wasted hours staring blankly at a frozen clock. And while school is drastically different here, the same unpleasant atmosphere is undeniably present. 

So I'll explain. We've been discussing my options as to how I can live In Brazil next semester. With my current visa I have to leave every three months and I can only stay in the country for 180 days of the year. After drawing out all the options we discovered the easiest way for me to get a visa is to just enroll in school , and since I don't have a Brazilian high-school diploma- that's exactly what I need. The obvious advantage of the school is that I'm constantly forced to speak Portuguese which is the best way to learn the language .

Additionally it is already offering me some great insights into Brazilian culture. Here in high school you spend all day with the same class in the same room, but different teachers come and go. Also the day is much shorter, most students only stay in school for the morning or the afternoon not both. I've only been there two days but I'll be excited to learn how they choose to focus on history and the humanities in general. 

For my Portuguese lessons I've been writing a lot fairytales, and sometimes I surprise myself half way-through with where I want to the story to go.  Going back to high-school is a chapter I never thought I'd write. 

Ilhabela - Capital da Vela

Last weekend I traveled I traveled to the foreign and not so distant island of Ilhabela for a jazz festival. 

And as you probably imagined, it was magnificent. 

It all began with me and my lovely travel companions leaving a few hours later than planned to arrive Thursday night with enough time to get ready and go to "Ilhabela in Jazz."  

And ohmygoodness there was so. much. Jazz. Which I should of expected, but wasn't emotionally prepared for: I listened to more jazz in one night then I had previously in the history of me. 

On the last night, just when I thought we had heard all the jazz there was, (fast, slow, instrumental,  a glittery lady signing) a friendly old man come on the stage and starts playing with squeaker-toys. 

So the jazz was pretty intense in and of itself, 

But the biggest "culture shock" for me was Rolê which I defined in my phone as "get no sleep." 

It really means something like "hanging out time." but the thing is Brazilians participate in this very, very late. Since the jazz festival didn't end until 1 am, the rolê lasted until 4 am and I was exhausted. 

So in an effort to get us back to the house I pronounced gently, " Vamos." but with no avail. Over the course of the night I learned  Brazilians have many words for "let's Go. " ( Vamos , Partiu, Vamo nessa...) for the same reason eskimos have so many words for snow: you need them. .

.

I've mentioned before that Brazilians aren't punctual people, and as they drag their feet if they only had one word for "let's go" you'd turn into a mocking bird. I was thankful there were a few. 

  

But I was pleased that everyone still woke up before noon for a breakfast of cheese bread and the first day and we were able to enjoy the perfect beach weather! 

The biggest factual difference between Brazilian Beaches and American ones is in Brazil you don't need to plan your trip at all. When you arrive there will be chairs you can rent or sit in if you buy a beer. Everything from swimsuits, jewelry, to towels are for sale right on the water, and there are people walking around selling delicious treats and water all day. It's noisier, but certainly more convenient.    

Dogs were running freely on the beach and requesting my attention. 

The biggest opinion based difference is that Brazilian Beaches are far more beautiful. 

Walking around the town I discovered an English school decorated for Halloween. I keep forgetting that it's that time of year because it looks and feels like summer, and it's not nearly as big a deal here. 

Pictured above are two sand cars, I really hope I get the opportunity to ride in these funny vehicles someday - I've never seen anything as cute as them in the States.

f

Not only do you not need need to pack anything for the beach. did I mention you don't need to pack anything for the road trip either? At every stoplight and traffic jam there's people selling food and drinks, and this is true for all of São Paulo from what I've seen.  My personal favorite car snack is Açaí, a super food with nutrition and sugary heaven. 

It took about five hours to get home because of the traffic, but when it was completely stopped people started dancing in the streets and I remembered one of the reasons I love this beautful country : 

No one's in a rush to leave, and it's never boring. 

Obrigada por ter me Ilhabela <3 

Amigos

Whenever I'm living abroad I remember the words my father told me years ago before traveling to the middle-east," If you ever get into any trouble, remember you're anything but American." 

Even then I didn't question the validity of the statement. It made sense to me that Americans would be unpopular given my  understanding of history and current events. And now I understand that the American tendency to presume our culture is superior and expect everyone to speak our language can't win us many friends...

So because I move around so much that's always my concern: making friends. Fortunately, despite my somewhat apologetically American status it hasn't been difficult for me to win over the hearts of the kind, open Brazilian people.
But I've made notes for anyone hoping to gain the friendship of some of the coolest people alive. 


1. Bake them Cookies. While there's a huge debate in Brazil whether they're called "Biscoitos" or "Bolachas" (Bolachas of course;) ) what everyone can agree on is that they're really, really good. However no one knows how to make them, so they're a real treat ! 

Making them with friends is fun too. 

Everyone Loves Cookies 

2. Music. Well this is especially true for me as I attend lessons at the conservatory, it's truly a universal language. Whether or not you speak Portuguese everyone can enjoy good music.     

I had the opportunity to watch my good friend play jazz  in the beautiful "Sala São Paulo," performances are often offered here for free or very cheap. 

3. BBQ. One of the most fundamental aspects of Brazilian culture. They're a lot of fun, and there's a lot of meat. If you get invited to one, just go. There's no excuses. I'm a vegetarian and have attended four.

--> Some people claim that sharing beer is the key to a Brazilian's heart, but it's not necessary, they also love coffee.  

4. Lunch! It's the "big" meal here and can last a couple hours. Something that's really common here are the restaurants that are "self service." What that means is they're buffet-style and how much your food weighs is how much it costs. The only confusing part for me was then still paying at the end of the meal, but I really like them because you get and pay for what and how much you wan

This Dog is in no way shape or form relevant to this post, but he's too beautiful not to share with the world.